Otherwise Maladroit

29 January 2003 Growing Pains

29 January 2003

Growing Pains

I know what people think of me, that I'm "suplada" or "mayabang", and I've accepted that as part of my inability to instantly connect with people. I'm not outgoing at all, in reality I'm very insecure and I like to keep to myself so as to avoid ridicule and embarrassment. My insecurities were so crippling in elementary and high school that I clammed up during social activities and had various anxieties about menial things. For example, in arithmetic I dreaded being called in front of class to solve a problem when I knew that I would be very slow, so I hated math and avoided it as much as possible. The only thing that I liked to do was read, which was basically useless for my studies since I read pocketbooks instead of my textbooks. In high school I was referred to, not discreetly, as "the weird one". In a way I was grateful for the label, because I could hide behind it. I could act the way I wished and people would just dismiss it to my "weirdness".

posted by Otherwise Maladroit @ 5:51 PM