Otherwise Maladroit

4 May 2003

4 May 2003

I was invited last night to go to a Lez-Pinay eyeball-party. I, myself, do not self-identify to any category within the third-sex, preferring instead to remain androgynous, but I do wonder if I am really bi-sexual or simply bi-curious. Can one claim to a particular sexuality without having any actual sexual experience or relationship? I felt comfortable in the party, and I could say that I was more outgoing than usual, however questions were invited by the experience. Am I comfortable in the environment, because I do not feel threatened? Am I more reserved in an integrated environment, because I feel apprehensive around men? Do I hate men? Or do I make declarations about myself in order to kill my roots, because I feel restricted when I am labeled? Am I in reality afraid of commitment? Or is this angst a reaction to my nuclear-family's failure to create a happy environment?

posted by Otherwise Maladroit @ 5:54 PM